After a bit of a rubbish few days during the week, I spent my weekend having fun. I pampered myself, I spent time with people in my life (which most weekends we don’t see anyone) and most of all, I enjoyed my little girl and the precious time we are fortunate enough to get together at the moment whilst she is still young and willing!
Above: Amazing what passes the time. She loves an app!
There is no beating around the bush, or sugar-coating it, the fact is that life in general is stressful. Whether you are happily married with kids, alone, widowed, playing the field, we all choose our own paths initially and have to deal with whatever consequences or life events happen because of those choices that we made. It is so easy to get bogged down with what is wrong in life that sometimes it seems like there is nothing to be thankful for. I feel this way a lot since last year. Some days I don’t feel anything and find the days both really hard and really long.
However, I am trying to make an effort and be thankful for something every day. This is something I am consciously making myself do. There is so much to be grateful for when you make yourself stop and just look. The fact is, I am alive. I am breathing. I have a wonderful healthy and funny little girl who makes me laugh every day (So much some days that I end up on the floor, with her giggling on top of me, by that point in fits of laughter herself). I get to spend lots of time with her at the moment. When I feel at my worst I keep trying to tell myself there is always somebody worse off. It doesn’t make the nights any less lonely or the fear of not having the future I want any easier. I still feel like I wont have the things I long for most and some days that is agonising for me. But I can’t do much about that today. So I have to live day by day and just see what happens and have hope I will still get what I need and want in time.
There are children with horrible rare illnesses that will die before their parents. There are people snatched from one another in accidents who never recover from that loss or the shock of it. I do feel bad when I have been feeling sorry for myself and think of others going through so much worse. It’s all relative to personal issues I guess and as I have said before, you can’t really explain a loss until you have gone through it. I know it takes time.
Yesterday I took my best little lady out for lunch. Nothing fancy, just a new cafe we found. It didn’t matter where it was. It was the ritual of doing something together that mattered. My sister joined us too after a while. Emi loves going out to eat.
Above: Ladies that lunch x
Today I went for breakfast (Didnt have to cook!) followed by a trip around the shops looking at Halloween bits with Emi. (Everything is so exciting when you are 3!) I bought some candles to relax when I do my stretches later this evening. (Bright pink ones!) I found a new shop full of cake decorating tools (Those who know me know this will excite me greatly on future trips into my town 😉 ) My daughter was happy. She spent time with both me and her dad today. She often misses him, so I was happy for her today that she was so content. (But hyper too!) She also spent the night at my sisters last night and had an absolute blast watering her garden, doing gymnastics and getting to have her fun time with her Aunty. This little girl has so much love in her life that it really fills my heart with happiness that she is so loved as a consequence of us bringing her into this world. It also gave me a rare morning with my sister, chatting together early this sunny Sunday morning whilst drinking tea, talking make-up, hair and hearing stories of their fun antics from the night before. It was a lovely, out of the ordinary routine, catch up and I enjoyed it immensely.
Above: Absolute Pure Joy. Enjoying her adventure to Aunty Jemmas x
We made brownies this afternoon (Which didn’t work for some reason, I wasnt too thankful for that!) But a covering of ice cream and they were still edible! My daughter did a new painting for the fridge and was very pleased with her handy work. It will make me smile when I make a cup of tea now in its new pride of place.
Above: Emis Art 😉
We caught up on Great British Menu and relaxed this afternoon after a busy morning. It was a nice Sunday.
It may not be the most exciting weekend to some but I really have enjoyed just stopping and noticing the little things and will try to do it more often. I’m not saying I wont feel crap about things or have bad days. But I would like more good ones. Life is short after all.
Sometimes the simple pleasures are just enough to get us through, if we notice them x