I am ill ;-(
Ok so im not dying or anything but I sure as hell feel rough. I have flu. Sore, itchy, watery eyes, a runny yet blocked at the same time nose (how is this even possible?!), achy body, constant sneezing. You lye on one side and feel the bunged up shit clear from the higher nostril and fill up the lower one on the pillow. Then it runs and you have to blow for the millionth time, leaving your nose tip looking chafed,chapped and crispy. Its hell. Sorry for the graphics. I like to share 😉
Give me a bad stomach any day over something that engulfs your whole head and impairs your vision and function! (Not today though thanks, I don’t need a bad stomach today on top of this, I was just saying.)
I usually get a really bad cold about once a year, around November most times. Well, its end of October so nearly on schedule. Last year my daughter was still two and into quite simple things so I could rest a bit. The year before that she was still a baby so would actually sit still a lot (and nap!), plus I had a partner to help when I needed to go upstairs and recover. Being ill with young children must be so much easier if you have a partner. Dont take them for granted when you are ill ever again! Trust me. You need them ;-).
Above: Baby days x
This year is my first experience of being a single parent, dealing with being ill, with a full on toddler (She doesnt toddle anymore, I shouldn’t call her that!) still going 100 miles per hour, with a full on cold raging at around the same speed as her. Its exhausting! We are literally not allowed to be ill because they simply don’t give a crap! Children are selfish creatures of habit and comfort and they need what they need and its your job to do it all for them. They still demand toast within 2 seconds of waking up. They talk at you none stop whilst you try to stay awake and grunt back at them through snot rags and lots of steamy cups of honey and lemon (hold it under your nose, have a steam and a drink in one ha). They still trash the house. They still need to get out and get some fresh air. They are still lovely but generally annoying when you’re not feeling up to finding their antics sweet or amusing.
Above: Menace with the face of an angel
Today I had to get her to the doctors as she has another cough that’s lasted about 4 days. Illness does not stop this kid, shes bright in herself, it does however, keep her awake (and me) coughing all night. So on a lack of sleep from the night before, I did not want to leave the house at all. I didn’t want to get dressed. Putting on my makeup onto puffy watery eyes was, in itself, a particularly hard challenge, however, as it happens, we made it. We have been out again to a jobcentre appointment for myself this afternoon, also stopping off at the park on the way back. Lots of walking, lots of interaction for a little one and lots of activity. Yet she still didn’t rest this afternoon like I had hoped she would.
Above: Her mind was literally blown that our local park had new equipment today 😉 x
The truth is you have to just power on forward and get through it, especially if there’s no one to take them off your hands for a few hours so you can sleep like everyone else gets to do when they have the flu. It’s not easy but you just have to take your moments where you can. I have to admit I snuck upstairs for 10 minutes today whilst she watched Casper and closed my eyes under my duvet, still not being able to sleep and switch off as a responsible mom but just having a few minutes breather without the tv blaring at my already spinning head. It didn’t last long. Those words every tired and over worked mom dreads being shouted up the stairs came shortly after. “Mom, where are you?”. Followed by manic footsteps and a tiny girl lunging towards me, all massive blue eyes and cheeky smiles, proceeding to then jump all over me on the bed, having great fun in the process. She thought it was great fun I couldn’t fight back much.
Dinner for her tonight was 2 fish fingers and some sliced cucumber. Lazy, none time-consuming and edible. Not a great meal in itself, I could have at least done her a few chips or some bread and butter or something but I plain couldn’t be bothered. There was no energy for menu planning. I spend a great deal of time making sure she eats well usually so I think I can be excused an off day. I also read her a really short bedtime story as my voice wasnt up to it. She grasped my game and went about then reading it back to me for ages afterwards to delay my tactic from taking effect sooner than she would have liked. On the ball that one.
Sometimes you have to forget about keeping up with mom of the year and do what helps you to survive, when you really need to of course. Regardless of how ill I feel today, and how it must sound like I am complaining to some, having her happy and healthy and with me is all that really matters in the bigger picture. Annoying as she has seemed in my ill face today, as most of you would agree, the alternative would be far worse.
I looked at her peacefully sleeping and the days annoyance vanished completely. I really think it’s this way for lots of us and if we notice our children and watch the good bits it can be so worth it over the time you spend with them. Family isnt boring or tedious if you notice the good stuff and feel fortunate to have it. Having children is the best thing anyone can do and I am so lucky to have her in my life. Also, thankfully, most of the time I am feeling in a better frame of mind to enjoy it too. Just flu is a killer ;-/.
I do love that girl. But I’m ill and I have my limits. The flip side is that her being under the weather too means she has settled at 6.30pm tonight! Bonus. Meaning I have time tonight to bath, blog and stretch hopefully. (If the annoying chavs outside letting off excessively loud and unnecessary fireworks don’t wake her up before I head to bed!)
I’m off to drink more honey and lemon. Night all xx